"A Day At the Beach"

By Carly

Disclaimer: The characters and incidents portrayed in this story are fictional. No infringment was intended.

Summary: A sequel to "A Night on the Town".

"So, did you get his phone number?"

"Get whose phone number?"

Xena smiled sweetly as her friend entered her office without so much as a greeting - or anything to eat, for that matter.

"Xena!" Gabrielle complained. "You know exactly what I'm talking about! The guy that I set you up with, of course! The bloke with the Harley!" She sat herself down on her favourite swivel chair, and shook her head. "Why you'd want a guy who rides a Harley, I don't know, but you do - and so, did you get his phone number?"

"Ohhh, now you set me up?" Xena retorted.

"Well, let's face it, I gave you the blind date as your birthday present. You owe me now. Heaps." And Gabrielle grinned in happy anticipation.

"Actually, you owe me. I ended up absolutely broke after that evening - don't know where the money went." Then she frowned. "Probably on drink. I'm amazed I can remember anything about it at all."

"But you do remember, don't you?"

"I remember that Harley, all right."

Actually Xena remembered the guy sitting on the Harley just as well. In fact, his image was imprinted indelibly into her brain.

"So you didn't manage to get his number, then," Gabrielle said with disappointment. "Man, I thought you could drag information out of just about anyone!"

"Of course I managed to get his number," Xena snapped. Then she groaned. "Fell for it again, didn't I?"

"You did," Gabrielle crowed. "And you fall for it every time."

"Well, it's useless anyway. The only phone I'm going to be ringing in the next few months is Crimestoppers. They've handed me a pretty big tax evasion case, and it's linked to a serious criminal investigation, too. There's no way I can get involved in anything at all right now."

"Oh, come on! You managed to bring Kerry Packer down in one weekend! This can't be more serious than that - and I really wanted to get to the beach this Saturday, the weather has been so good!"

Xena rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well if I worked like you did, I'd be able to get to the beach."

"Hey!" Gabrielle exclaimed, hurt. "At least you get to do a job you enjoy! I have to write hack articles for the local paper just because I'm not one of the 'chosen ones' who is allowed to actually write novels." She got up and moved towards the door. "Try to get it all done, won't you? You have to admit the beach sounds damn nice . . ."

"Yeah, all right. See you later, anyway," Xena replied, feeling slightly guilty. Gabrielle was right, of course - it wasn't her fault she had to labour at a boring job while she waited to be allowed to write what she chose.

Xena shuffled some papers and came to the email her boss had written to her, outlining her new project. It was strangely relevant.

"As you know, the World Council on Literature has passed sanctions against any nation allowing Novels of any kind to be written or published by any author apart from the Thousand Chosen Writers. This is to guard against the proliferation of Bad Writing which occurred in the early years of this century."

"There is a small ring in this city which needs to be broken. You need to hunt these culprits down and bring them to justice. Romance Novels must not be allowed to go on."

This was followed by a short P.S.

"Sandy wanted to say thanks for bringing the pasta salad to the picnic. She really enjoyed it."

"Great. This is where my life has come to - pasta salad and romance novels," Xena grumbled, pushing the page aside.

Gabrielle's suggestion of the beach was sounding more and more attractive. Especially if some guy on a Harley met her there. Now that was an idea. That was a very good idea.

*********

"Hey, Ares? Are you going to need a lift to the station again today?" Herc shouted, opening the door to the garage.

Ares lifted his head from under his bike, hit it, swore, and dropped his spanner.

"I'm not getting into your car again, if that's what you're asking," Ares yelled back. "Once in a mini is once too often!"

"And thanks for the offer," Herc grumbled.

"Remember you're not supposed to drink and drive," Ares threw back at his brother.

"I DON'T DRINK!"

"Right, right."

Ares lay back down, grinning. There was nothing like starting off the day by annoying his half-brother. It was so easy, and yet so satisfying. Herc refused to admit that he couldn't live up to his perfect image - he pretended to drink only water and fruit conconctions - when really he was sneaking beer and meat pies on the side.

Ares tightened the last screw in the engine, then slid out from under the bike, and looked at it critically. "Work. Or else." He rolled the bike out of the garage, then kicked it into life. The engine thrummed, then roared, then coughed, and died. Ares swore again.

Getting off, he noticed a scratch on the paintwork, and frowned. Then he remembered. It was old - it had happened one rainy night - one strange rainy night when he'd met an incredible woman. He'd done things with her that he'd never done before. Like sing karaoke.

It was a great pity that he hadn't been able to get her number before they'd parted that evening. It was comprehensible; by the end of that night he'd been barely able to put two words together, let alone string together a set of numbers - but it was still a pity. There were still a couple of options, though. There was the dating agency - they'd have to have her details. There was the karaoke bar, though they would be unlikely to help him out, he admitted, after the mess they'd caused. And there was the guy he knew who was involved in everything that was going on, especially in the underworld. He'd be able to put the word out.

Ares nodded. Yep, Hades was the answer, this time.

*********

Gabrielle slipped by the doorman, and made her way silently up the stairs, evading the hall cameras. There - it was the office. She typed in the number combination and smiled as the lock clicked open. She'd made it.

She pushed the door open and slid inside the room, before making her way over to the desk. A number of papers were lying there, and she shuffled through them hurriedly. Ah - there it was.

She glanced over it, then frowned. Then she picked up the telephone receiver, punched in a number and paced impatiently while it rang.

"Hello?"

"Listen, she's got it, ok? She's got your details. Here - take down this number - " Gabrielle read it out hastily, and then slammed the phone down. She'd heard something.

She crouched down and waited. Finally, she crept over to the door, looked out, and finding the coast was clear, slipped out and back down the stairs. It was over; she'd done it.

*********

"Tall, dark and most likely an alto?" Hades repeated. "Oh yeah, that narrows it down."

He threw back his head and laughed.

Ares grabbed his collar, lifting him up from his seat. "You think it'll be a problem?"

"Oh, no - no problem, not at all," Hades promised, coughing a little. Ares lowered him back into his seat. "So when I've found her, what do you want done with her?"

"I just want a phone number, all right? Get me her number, and I'll go from there."

Ares turned to leave, then stopped. "I might be wrong, but I've got a vague feeling she's got something to do with taxation."

Hades snorted. "Oh, right. Now I get it. I think getting a new accountant would be easier, but -"

Ares made a menacing move towards him, and he raised his hands quickly. "I'll do my best."

"You'd better."

*********

There was a knock at the door, and Xena sighed.

"Gabrielle, if I've told you once -" Then she stopped. "Oh. Mr Smath."

Xena's boss walked into the office and sat down on the swivel chair. His head appeared slightly below Xena's desk.

"Oh - sorry - someone must have spun it a little low -" Xena got up, but her boss waved her back down, and found another chair.

"Xena, we've had some serious news. Did you tell anyone at all that you were doing this investigation?"

"No, no one. Why?" Xena asked, frowning.

"We've heard that Hades has been making inquiries about you. You do remember Hades, don't you?"

"Yeah - I've heard of him."

"Well, keep a watch out, anyway. That's one guy you don't want knowing your number," Mr Smath warned her, before leaving.

Hades . . . Ares. What was it with these Greek names? Xena thought. She moved aside her papers with some annoyance. And as for guys having her phone number . . . she'd decide that for herself. Smath probably thought she was keen on those geeky guys who fixed the network problems. She bet he had no idea she was pining for a guy on a really big bike -

She stopped herself. She wasn't pining, she reminded herself. She just thought he had been - fun. Not many guys would put their hearts and souls into the duet from Pocahontas. And he was really the kind of guy who - caught your eye. With the dark hair and eyes and all.

Xena realised she was half-leaning over the desk with her mouth open. She got up, and turned to her computer. The day hadn't been a total waste - she'd found one name, one lead in the case against the Romance Writers.

The Romance Writers Union wasn't going to be difficult to break, she decided. They were too desperate to get read. She just had to fool them into thinking she was a die-hard romantic. She was going to infiltrate one of their secret meetings, and tell them they had to give up writing, or pay the price - ten years in tax arrears.

Xena felt slightly guilty as she switched off her computer. She had a feeling Gabrielle would be not too impressed at what she was going to be doing. But then again - even Gabrielle hated bad writing. It was all for the Greater Good in the end.

*********

"Hey, some heavy-breathing psycho rang for you last night," Herc shouted to his brother. "At least I assume it was for you, seeing I don't know any heavy-breathing psychos."

"Probably Hades," Ares muttered. "Did he say anything about taxation?"

Herc shook his head. "I would've remembered that, don't worry."

"Look, I'll be out again tonight. Can you attempt to write down a message this time, no matter who calls? Oh - and I've hidden the beers. This message could be important."

"I DON'T DRINK!"

*********

Xena slid on a pair of her largest sunglasses, and then took them off again. Forget the disguise; it was impossible to see a thing in the pitch black of the night, anyway.

The address she'd found took her to a seedy part of town, where low apartment buildings neighboured abandoned lots. Half the streetlamps were broken; the other were flickering crazily. She sighed and wondered why on earth she had to do these kinds of things. Then she remembered her last trip to Rome. This job funded such travels.

The streets had been empty; but now she heard footsteps. There was a shadowy figure in the distance. Xena held tightly onto the one thing in her arms she thought that she would need, that night. She would use it against this stranger if need be. And if it was Hades - well, he'd better be ready.

The figure came closer. Xena stepped out of the light, waiting in a doorway, watching carefully. The footsteps sounded loud in the quiet of the night. Suddenly, a streetlamp flickered and illuminated the figure.

"Ares?"

Ares jumped back and raised his hands. "Whoah! Be careful with that tea-cake; it's iced!"

Xena put down the cake and stared in astonishment. "What on earth -"

"I've been following you since you got into your taxi. Mine dropped me on the other side of the street - the loser -"

"What's happened to Argo?" Xena exclaimed. "Is your bike all right?"

"It's had a bit of trouble," Ares admitted. "It should be ok pretty soon. Look - do you want to get out of here? I know a place . . ."

"I'd love to, but I've got something I need to do tonight. I don't usually dress like this, you know -"

Ares eyed her spotted blouse and long skirt. "Glad to hear it."

Then Xena paused. "Come with me. I could use a bit of help, actually. We shouldn't be long."

Ares shrugged. "OK."

They approached a dingy apartment building and climbed to the second floor.

Xena held the iced tea-cake carefully in her hands, adjusted her hair ribbon, and knocked on pink door. An elderly woman answered the door.

"Hello, dear. What can I do for you?"

Damn it. There was probably a password or something. Xena racked her brain for something vaguely Romantic. Poetry. That was it.

"Once a Jolly Swagman -"

"Who's this?" The woman interrupted her, eagerly spying Ares standing behind her.

Xena turned. With his leather jacket and dark melting eyes, Ares would make a great cover for a Romance Novel - even an illegal one.

"A friend. Can we come in?"

"Of course!"

*********

Ares and Xena sat awkwardly on a flowered settee as they were served tea and biscuits by a young girl in a peasant blouse.

"So are you two, like, collaborating on the scenes?" the older woman asked eagerly.

"Have you got anything to show us at all? I can just imagine how hot they are!" A middle-aged woman asked.

Ares gulped and looked at Xena pleadingly.

"Uh - let's talk about yours first, shall we? My friend here is a little shy." Xena said quickly. Ares suddenly grew pale.

"Well, here's mine," the older woman said, pulling a notebook out of her overly large purse. "My latest, of course. Not yet published by the Union."

"I see, and you -" Xena began, when the door burst open and a loud voice yelled out, "Everyone down on the ground, now!"

*********

"This is all about romance writing?" Ares asked the police officer in relief. He turned to Xena. "I knew I shouldn't have got involved with a tax official -"

"You're not, yet," Xena pointed out curtly. "Now I've explained my part in this - why can't we go?"

"Because I don't believe you," the police officer told her, leaning forward. "Because we have evidence that a very good friend of yours is involved in all of this - Gabrielle."

Xena gasped as her friend was brought into the room. "No!"

"I didn't do anything!" Gabrielle argued. "They've got nothing on me!"

"Apart from video footage of you creeping into Xena's office in the middle of the night, and making phone calls?"

Gabrielle looked at Xena sadly. "I really, really wanted to set you up with Ares. I just couldn't wait for you to do it yourself!"

"That was you?" Ares exclaimed. "I thought it was Hades!"

"You set Hades after me?" Xena cried. "Why didn't you just call me?"

"SHUT UP!" Ares, Xena and Gabrielle stopped and stared at the police officer.

"All this was just about setting up a date?" he asked incredulously.

"Look, she hasn't had one for years, officer!" Gabrielle pleaded.

"Shut up!" Xena growled.

"Well, maybe she should rethink the blouse," the officer considered.

"Watch it!" Ares said menacingly.

"All right, although I'd love to charge you three, I can't. So get out and stay away from those Romance Writers. It's only chance that we managed to get to you in time. Next time, you might not be so lucky."

"Thank you officer. And I mean it," Ares said. Then Xena dragged him out.

"OK, so now you've made the world safe for readers everywhere - what's next?" Gabrielle asked as they walked from the building.

"Hmm . . . didn't you mention a day at the beach?"

*********

"This is more like it," Xena sighed, lying half-submerged in the clear, cool water. "This is just right."

The white sandy beach stretched out as far as she could see. It was empty, apart from the small boat moored nearby. Forget a day at the beach - they'd decided to stay for quite a bit longer than that.

Ares swam over to her and slyly grabbed her ankle, pulling her under.

"Ow!" Xena laughed. "OK, you'll pay for that -"

"Anytime, anyplace," Ares smirked - then choked, as Xena dunked him.

"Truce, truce," he called out, laughing, as Xena moved towards him again.

"Oh, I'll never surrender," she grinned, dragging him out again. "And you like it that way."

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